Woorde met Spasies

Ek stap stilweg deur die argief van my gedagtegang, waar ek plek-plek vir ‘n wyle langs ‘n oop deur gaan stilstaan .. soms langer as wat ek moet. En sommer net onthou.

.. WANT SOMS IS DIT NET EK WAT WEET ..

EK ONTHOU

[Written by Elf – 16 December 2007]

Ek onthou ons gisters of dit netnou was
Jou glimlag bly my by
Jakarandabome wat geheime bewaar
En jy hier reg langs my

Vasgevang in ons jeug
Kinders van ons tyd
Altyd soekend, verkennend na iets meer
Jou vriendskap my profeit

Die winde van verandering wat waai
Seisoene, getye, woorde
So het ons mekaar leer ken
Op die herfswind se akkoorde

Sorgeloos verspot het ons gestap
Gespeel, geterg, gedeel
Ek onthou ons gisters of dit netnou was
Jou teenwoordigheid maak my heel

SKADU’S TEEN MY MUUR

[Written by Elf – 04 November 2006]

Ek tart die noodlot
My werklikheid deins terug
Jy is die skadu teen my muur
Die hartseer in my sug

Terwyl myle in ligjare verby my skiet
En dit my bewegingloos tot stilstand dwing
Tas my gedagtes soekend na antwoorde
Welwetende die vrae gaan my nêrens bring

Waaraan moet ek vashou
Waarin moet ek glo
Is hierdie animasie ‘n werklikheid
Of net ‘n seën van Bo

Visioene, spioene, seisoene
Maak my deurmekaar
Hoe het jy my pad gekruis
Of was jy maar nog altyd daar

Ek tart die noodlot
My werklikheid deins terug
Ek is die skadu teen jou muur
Jy bly die hartseer in my sug

UNTITLED

[Written by Elf – 26 January 2007]

Soos ‘n klein skulpie het jy eendag op my strand uitgespoel
Ek tel hom niksvermoedend op om van nader te beskou
Min het ek die waarde daarvan geken
Iets wat ek altyd in my hart wil hou

Vir alles wat jy vir my beteken
Is die klein woord dankie eintlik oorbodig
Jou skulpie is met ‘n doel op my strand
God het geweet ek het jou nodig

UNTITLED

[Written by Elf – 26 January 2007]

Hoe kry mens dit reg om so sterk te staan
Soos jy teen die lewe se wind en weer
Ek wens ek kon net ‘n stukkie van jou spore volstaan
Dis al wat ek begeer

Alles wat ek is vind ek in jou
My lewe, my hart, my anker, my kruis
Al is ek dakloos op hierdie aarde
Jou hart is altyd en oral my huis

UNTITLED

[Written by Elf – 22 January 2007]

Die puzzle van my lewe
In duisend stukkies verstrooi
Bou hom breek hom
Net een kan die prent voltooi

Sonder daardie stukkie is my prentjie leeg
Mors ek my tyd om daaraan te bou
Want hierdie mens binne-in my
Word net heel naby jou

Ek lief jou meer as die water in die see
Iets waarin ek my kan begewe
Ek kyk so baie op na jou
Jy is my wil om te lewe

WANT NET ONS WEET

[Written by Elf – 14 November 2007]

As ek my oor teen die skulp van ons vriendskap druk ..
Hoor ek jou sterk stem wat jou vir ‘n wyle nader aan my bring
Voel ek die brandende greep van jou kyk wat my deurboor
Sien ek ons storie afge-ets teen die skemerson

As ek my oor teen die skulp van ons vriendskap druk ..
Hoor ek dit wat jy nooit wou sê nie
Voel ek veilig as jy langs my sit
Sien ek die onsekerheid diep geborge in jou

As ek my oor teen die skulp van ons vriendskap druk ..
Hoor ek eindeloos
Voel ek eindeloos
Sien ek eindeloos

.. want net ons weet
.. want net ek weet

UNTITLED

[Written by Elf – 31 January 2008]

I remind myself to remember to breathe
For death might come way too soon
Tall dark trees in the black of night
Their arms stretched high towards the silver moon

A windless night on this midsummers eve
As I lie awake on my bed
Tomorrow morning the sun will shine
But tonight it’s raining in my head

Empty hands with nothing to bare
Though everything in life comes with a price
I pray to God to show me the way
To melt this heart back to ice

WINTERKOUE

[Written by Elf – 02 July 2008]

die winterkoue het sy winterkloue stewig om my hart gevou
waar sy ys-greep letsels in my binneste brand
ek skryf jou naam in die stof op my skoene
terwyl ek wonder hoe het ons hier beland

die winterkoue met sy winterkloue hou nog so n bietjie langer vas
terwyl ek my hand teen die glasruit hou
ek onthou jou in gisters en wens jou in môres
die wegstap is seer .. maar ek doen dit vir jou

HAAR HANDE

[Written by Elf – 11 July 2008]

Hande wat vriendelik waai as ek werk toe ry
Met die belofte van ek sien jou weer
Hande wat opgewonde deure oopsluit
Met my sonsak-terugkeer

Hande wat elke dag met liefde
‘n Bord koningskos vir my voorberei
Hande wat skoonmaak en skottelgoed was
En geen moeite ontsien vir my

Hande wat die pad aandui
Wanneer ek hopelooslik verdwaal
Hande wat elke keer vergewe
Wanneer ek faal

Hande wat beskermend om my vou
Vir ‘n drukkie vol liefde en omgee
Hande wat saggies oor my wange streel
Om my trane af te vee

Hande wat oop is om altyd te gee
Minder as wat jy vra
Hande wat altyd uitgestrek is
Gereed om my te dra

Hande wat saamvou en saggies fluister
As jy my opdra in jou gebed
Hande wat elke dag myne vat
En elke uur my lewe red

Sonder jou hande beteken ek niks nie
Sonder jou hande is ek swak en blind
Sonder jou hande is ek verlore
Maar ewig en altyd bly ek jou kind

AWAY

[Written by Elf – 13 July 2008]

The open road
Forever calling my name
In the opposite direction
Hence I came
Away
Away
Away .. from you

Keep walking
Eyes closed
Hands open
A million miles away
Away
Away
Away .. from me

Remember not to cry
Just keep on walking
One step closer to
Destination anywhere
Away
Away
Away .. from us

VOETE VAN KLEI

[Written by Elf - 25 August 2008]

kaalvoet kinders in die reën
rondomtalie ek en jy
hande vat en draai en draai
sorgeloos en kommervry

trap die modder vas en los
soos ons skaterlag weerklink
totdat alles om ons blurry raak
behalwe jou oë wat voor my blink

die momentum draai ons om en om
ons vingers hou al stywer vas
kinderlik dronk van plesier
vandag soek ons dit in ‘n glas

ons dans onder die druppels
vandag noem ons die game ‘die lewe’
dis val en opstaan en weer begin
die ritme van vergeet en vergewe

volwasse kinders in die reën
rondomtalie ek en jy
vat my hand en hou styf vas
as jy laat los dan gaan ek gly

die grondpad is vandag geteer
ek hoor die eggo van diep smart
totdat alles om ons blurry raak
die val is eensklaps baie hard

die kinders in ons hou vas aan mekaar
ten spyte van woorde wat ons verraai
en ek wonder stilweg wat is die prys
van nog een laaste laaste draai

EK FLUISTER JOU NAAM

[Written by Elf – 25 August 2008]

koffie, kuier, kerslig, kerk
bruin, rooi, oranje, geel
elke oomblik is spesiaal
as ek dit met jou kan deel

jy verhef my eenvoudige rympies tot poetry
tel my op, dra my en lig my tot bo
jou onvoorwaardelike liefde en aanvaarding
het vir 32 jaar onwrikbaar in my geglo

jou moederhart se deure
altyd wawyd oop vir my
‘n beter ma kon ek nie vra nie
ek het rééds die beste: jy

my dankie is eenvoudig
maar my liefde bly getrou
in die binnekamers van my hart
staan ‘n monument vir jou

SKOENLAPPER

[Written by Elf – 28 August 2008]

die fladderende skoenlapper word nader genooi
om vir ‘n wyle in jou handpalm te rus
jy gaan hom nie vasvang of seermaak nie
net saggies sy vlerke streel om hom te sus

swart fluweel in die namiddagson
terwyl jy hom beskerm
met deernis, sorg en liefdevol
jou oor sy hartjie ontferm

hy kan daar sit vir solank hy wil
om weer sy asem terug te kry
jou hand altyd oop net soos jou hart
soos jou omgee vir die skoenlapper .. vir my

BALLADE VAN DIE RYLOPER (II)

[Written by Elf - 10 September 2008]

geluidloos langs my stilgehou
terwyl ek, ryloper
ewe geluidloos
elke decibel
my storie vertel

die skulp van jou oor
het goedsmoeds
die woorde van my enkeling-ballade
lettergreep vir lettergreep
ingesluk

waar jy
rustelose siel
vreemdeling-vriend
my onwetend gelei het
na waters van rus

GEDAGTES IN BLOHM

[Written by Elf – 19 August 2008]

ek sien die woorde op my skerm
ek kyk op
sien jou
voel klein
en vir nou is jou lettergrepe
dit wat die spasies tussen my eie vul
dankie vir die klippie teen my glasruit
die impak was meteories
skerwe
splinters
stof
ja ons is almal stof
en eendag
sal ek vandag onthou
en weet
dis ‘n fine memory

THE GREAT BELOW

[Written by Elf - 12 October 2008]

The moon is up the stars are bright
And phantom figures run
The darkness is their playground
Where they can hide from the sun

With powder smiles and bicycles
They descend to the great below
Where a fragile gypsey Desert Rose
Meets the restless soul of a Scarecrow

They live their lives in monochrome
In shades of black and grey
If only the world was colour blind
They would not have fallen prey

But I see you as you see me
The tongue we speak is exactly the same
You were a stranger that crossed my path
But somehow you allready knew my name

I need you to promise me
You’ll keep on holding on
To be the best that you can be
Until this race is won

The moon is up the stars are bright
And phantom figures understand
That friendship is a priceless gift
When you lend a helping hand

So here’s my hand take it quick
Without a doubt or with delay
Please let me be your friend for a while
Before the gypsey walks away

I know that you are afraid
Of many things unknown
Remember I believe in you
Not a single day you walk alone

So turn around at any point
And in the shadows I will be
A desert rose amongst the thorns
A scarecrow once found me

1953

[Written by Elf - 24 October 2008]

neentien drie en vyftig
is ‘n jaar wat se lof ek besing
vyf en vyftig jaar gelede
het dit vir my ‘n engel gebring

gebore in ‘n dorpie klein
die kerk se toring wit
my hande in dankbaarheid saamgevou
hier waar ek vir jou bid

want ek moet hulde bring aan een
wie se hande my elke dag dra
‘n vertroueling en beste vriend
my dominee my dokter my ma

altyd nederig in die skaduwee
sien jy na ander om
ek weet verseker in God se tuin
is jy die mooiste blom

liefde vergifnis aanvaarding respek
geborge in een enkele mens
met jou kan ek alles in my lewe deel
‘n traan ‘n droom ‘n wens

ek wonder skielik hoe mens dankie sê
sodat ek weet jy sal verstaan
dat sonder jou liefde is my lewe leeg
is my menswees ‘n nuttelose bestaan

neentien drie en vyftig
is ‘n jaar wat ek herdenk
die engel het my ma geword
my heel grootste geskenk

hierdie is ‘n mylpaal dag
ons vier dit hier en nou
geskenke toegedraai het ek nie
maar my hart gee ek vir jou

vandag is joune ma
en jy moet lekker verjaar
mag ek Jesus ‘n groot guns vra
om jou vir baie baie jare te spaar

GISTER TWEE MAANDE

[Written by Elf – 27 October 2008]

ek dink nog elke dag aan jou
en die drome
wag ek quote jou
breek soos branders oor rotse
van wat kon wees

die memories speel in high definition
in die gypsey se kristalbal
en tog kleurloos
gestroop van emosie
soos ‘n ou swart en wit tv

want twee maande gelede
het ons paaie gevurk
op die grondpad van wat was
jou spore oudergewoonte op die kortpad
en ek wat ‘n detour vat

ek wat rigtingloos verdwaal
want my kompas het my verlaat
en skielik my in ‘n kring bevind
van vreemdeling engele vriende
wat sorgsaam en beskermend oor my waak

op ‘n stadium gewens vir haat
want so sou ek makliker ja
ironies jou naam kon vergeet
maar myself elke keer hande gevou
jou naam hoor fluister in gebed

musiek sal altyd ons geheime verklap
al was jou lewe en jy ‘n leuen
ek het my hart vir jou groentrui verruil
twee wiele en n stofpad
helmet-loos ons koppe gestamp

die sleutel draai stadig ek pak dit weg
vir eendag se onthou maar
net-net te ver buite my bereik
asseblief help my vergeet
breek daai kristalbal nou

die skerwe le versprei in die vertrek
ons verhaal in animasie op die vloer
hoekom het ek geen regrets nie
waarom is ek dankbaar ons het gebeur
my enigma to have and to hold

ek vertrou myself nie genoeg
om weer van my kant af kontak te maak nie
jou leuens is die melodieë waarop my voete dans
jou oë my spieëls jou stem my swakpunt
was jy net so klein bietjie lief vir my

jy het my alfabet complete
jy was lieflik dierbaar spesiaal verby
die yin en yang het kwaad geword
gesmudge in grys definisieloos
verbrokkel tot poeier pasop vir die wind

soos óns gebreek
jou distraction
die pouseklok het gelui
my hart vir ‘n appel en ui ingetrade
in wens ja net in wens

ek groet en
ek wonder
was jy net so klein
klein klein bietjie
lief vir my

PIANO WIRES

[Written by Elf – 02 November 2008]

you left your world
temporarily
to follow the melody of misery
as the lonely violin
kept on calling your name
leading you away from the light

venturing into the unknown
you walked through passages
of broken buildings
the architectural blueprint
long forgotton as
dreams turned to dust

hallways decorated
with empty picture frames
the violin fading into a whisper
with every closer step you take
no longer playing the bow
writing your name in the sand

behind a shattered glass window
you found me tucked away
in the darkness of the light of day
come close your eyes and walk my dear
here I am this is me
my name is written in the sand

bring your violin along
for I saw a piano on my way here
it might be out of tune I protested
just walk beside me and
keep the blindfold on
for the light might hurt your eyes

we came to a halt on this journey unknown
you sat me down beside you patiently
waiting for my eyes to adapt to the light
while you softly explained
that what I knew as day
was in actual fact your night

your brown eyes smiled
while you kept mine hostage
your shoulder against mine
and an a capella whisper saying
you can tell everybody
that this is your song

the piano was false and out of tune
the silence deafening
I picked up my violin
and together we played
unrehearsed with nothing but trust
for you never knew my name

you paused and smiled
and winked at me
out of tune indeed
the melody of misery forgotten
but when we play together
listen to the magic

we resumed our song
and completed it with ease
I hope you don’t mind
that I put down in words
how wonderful life is
while you’re in the world

WOORDE

[Written by Elf – 09 November 2008]

my woorde aan jou rym lankal nie meer nie
hul het hul ritme verloor
asof hul haastig is
verkies het om leestekens te vermy
in die hoop om jou
sonder lettergrepe
dalk net
gouer
te vind

KOFFIE, PEN EN PAPIER

[Written by Elf – 09 November 2008]

my café mocha groet my
hier agter in my koningsblou hoek van die Wimpy
ek vou my hande om die glas
dit is warm soos jou glimlag
donkerbruin soos jou oë
wanneer hulle met my eie hande vat
ek glimlaggend aan jou dink
wanneer my mond die skuim soen
en my oë soekend oor die geboë rand van die glas
staar na die leë stoel oorkant my
daar waar jy moes wees
om skertsend my ore
met die musiek van jou stem te vul
en soos my gunsteling koppie koffie hier
alleen agter in my hoek van die Wimpy
my menswees met jou teenwoordigheid vol te tap
en my hartjie
durf ek sê
te versadig

THE GIRL ON THE OTHER SIDE OF HERE

[Written by Elf - 30 November 2008]

sometimes
I wish
the mirror
had no reflection
the empty eyes
staring back at me
with disgust
I wish
hmm
I wish
them
blind

the reflection
I wish
it away
I am tired
of fighting
that familiar
stranger
over
and over
tired of
losing
every single time

not strong enough
not good enough
not pretty enough
not not not
who
please tell me
who
is that
fcuking stranger
staring back at me
through
the looking glass

DESERT ROSE

[Written by Elf - 13 Desember 2008]

there she was
bound to the desert
a restless soul
gypsey woman
held prisoner
by the freedom
offered by the dunes
where solitude became
her new best friend

yet he came
the weary traveler
walking in faith
knowing not what he would find
nor where this road would lead
a trail of dust
particles of sand in the wind
followed his footsteps
like a shadow

heading towards the ruins
in the distance
far away
distant
like the girl
to which his steps
would carry him
a weary traveler
knowing not what he would find

towards her he walked
blindfolded by the sun
closer he came
further away she moved
evasive
like a mirage
when sand turns to liquid
and evaporates
before you can touch it

yet there she was
bound to the desert
a restless soul
gypsey woman
held prisoner
by the freedom
offered by the weary traveler
where he became
her new best friend

I PAINT WITH WORDS NO MORE

[Written by Elf - 18 December 2008]

no longer do i
put my trust in words
they fail me
betray me
tell my secrets to the world
and then
turn around
and laugh at me
together with its people

words paint dreams
often sculpt
previously unspoken
wishes
then unexpectedly
draws a sword

shreds sentences
into words
syllables
degrades it
to mere letters
it slices
dreams
wishes
promises
friendships

words
so freely given
shared with
well
everybody
anybody
who cares to listen
whose eyes
are willing to indulge

yet words
once spoken
can never
ever
be taken back
or made
undone

maybe forgiven
perhaps forgotten
but never
ever
made undone

words
teach us
in any language
that often
most of the times
kom
spyt
te
laat

OM TE WENS

[Written by Elf - 27 December 2008]

ek wens ek kon
oop oë
onder die water
van jou menswees swem

ek wens ek kon
elke ster in die swart hemel
op sy naam roep
om spesiaal vir jou te skyn

ek wens ek kon
my skaduwee
selfs net vir ‘n dag
langs joune inkleur

ek wens ek kon
wens ek kon
wens ek
wens ..

SÊ MY HOE?

[Written by Elf – 14 January 2009]

hoe kan ek my pen neerlê
as jy jou hand oor myne sit
en my reënboog saam met my
in ‘7 shades of black’ inkleur

hoe kan ek wegstap
van die tweede kans in vriendskap
wat jou hand in die pot goud
aan die einde daarvan geteken het

hoe kan ek daardie papier opfrommel
weggooi soos ‘n vensterkoevert
juis wanneer ek besef
die rekening sê ‘I owe you’

hoe kan ek ..
hoe kon ek ..
wat is ek ..
sonder jou?

ADDICTED

[Written by Elf – 18 January 2009]

ek vind myself bietjie verslaaf aan die jy in jou
wanneer my oorskulp bakhand staan
en elke decibel van jou stem dankbaar opvang
terwyl ek die vars reuk van jou somerreën-klanke
wat saggies op my gemoed val
inasem en vir ‘n wyle in my longe laat vertoef
voor ek dit saggies op die vlerke van ‘n sug
soos ‘n skoenlapper in die wind vrylaat

ek vind myself bietjie verslaaf aan die jy in jou
wanneer ek my lig afskakel en jou my laaste gedagte vind
en afstand skielik meer word
as die reguit lyn tussen twee gegewe punte
wanneer die oggendson sy hand saggies op my skouer sit
en in my oor fluister dis tyd om te ontwaak
en my gedagtes reeds met die oopmaak van my oë
struikel oor jou naam

ek vind myself
hopeloos
verslaaf
aan jou
please don’t
wake me
from this
dream

DISSOLVING

[Written by Elf – 19 January 2009]

ONE CAN ONLY POSTPONE THE INEVITABLE ..

she slowly lifts
the bleeding violin
one last time
as she plays a requiem
while the violin dances to
the death of words
the bittersweet sound
of a deafening silence
filling the air
as she disappears
into the shadows
of the night
forgotten
mortal
undead
forever
lost
me
i

.. FOR SO LONG.

RUNNING

[Written by Elf – 23 January 2009]

running running running
forever running
make me stop
lock the door
I beg you
hide every possible path
I hear it calling my name
make me fall
even with my eyes open
it’s pulling me away
hold on please
I’m tired
but not tired enough
make me stay
take my hand
draw me closer
I feel it’s grasp
around my ankles
it’s not letting go
break the curse
heal the wounds
paralyse my soul
give me a reason
to stand still
to stay here
to just stop
running

SUFFOCATE

[Written by Elf – 30 January 2009]

locked inside the walls of this body
every turn a dead end street
too crowded in here
not enough space
for me myself and i
suffocating
no windows
only mirrors
lifeless eyes
creeping up on me
stop staring
back at me
i’m begging
heart of stone
pumping black blood
through ice cold veins
somebody tell me
how do I unzip my skin
and walk away from me
not enough space
too crowded in here
every turn a dead end street
locked inside the walls of this body

VAMPIRE KISS

[Written by Elf – 01 February 2009]

i am a prisoner
of the spell you cast over me
when you vampirically
took ownership
of my soul
and drew it from me
like poison from
a bleeding wound
healing the yin
forsaking the yang
making me whole again
making me
human
making me
yours
making me
me

DISTANCE

[Written by Elf – 01 February 2009]

hold me closer
further away from you
make sense
give answers
prevent damage
save me
from
myself

SATINE

[Written by Elf – 01 February 2009]

raven black hair
grows as we speak
longer and longer
to cover my face
hide my lifeless eyes
once autumn brown
until it becomes a curtain
between me and their stares
me and their glares
i want to kill her for you
become her for you
the person you believe you see
behind that curtain
on the stage
as the sun sets
over our moulin rouge

WORD-STAINS

[Written by Elf – 01 February 2009]

honger vir hand op papier
aptyt vir woord-gedagtes
wat hulself swart en sierlik
vanuit my oorversadigde pen
leegbloei op die ligblou strepe
leestekens ignoreer
taalreëls verwerp
ek naderhand
rebels
uitasem
moeg
stil word
in woord

BOUNCE

[Written by Elf - 01 February 2009]

take my heart
rip it out
go ahead
it’s ok
you can’t kill
the already dead
throw it against the wall
let it make its mark
fingerprints in red
bounce back
like a rubber ball
like the toy
that it has become
watch it fall
fake a beat
play dead
tired
worn
torn
broken
and i suddenly wonder
was it ever whole
to begin with?

REST IN PIECE(S)

[Written by Elf – 01 February 2009]

bury my name in your heart
let me haunt it forever
let me be your best kept secret
hide me in the dungeons of your soul
let me be forgotten
to the world
nothing but a faded picture
jaded memory
shadow
becoming one
with the nothingness
wrapped in darkness
my name on a tombstone
buried in your heart

SHADOW OF A GYPSYCROW

[Written by Elf – 28 January 2009]

phantom figure
against the wall
walk beside me
break my fall

take my hand
hold it tight
don’t let me go
help me fight

run away with me
into a dream
hear my whisper
silence my scream

following me
wherever I go
my mirror image
my shadow

phantom figure
against the wall of my heart
let the journey begin
this is our brand new start

a monochrome world
seen through our eyes
where we grow closer
forget our goodbyes

a gypsy and a scarecrow
hand in hand
shadows against the wall
forever we stand

JOU SKRIF TEEN MY MUUR

[Written by Elf – 27 January 2009]

jou poetry gespray-paint
teen die mure van my hart
het jy graffiti style jou silhouette
vas aan myne geteken
hande wat vat in animasie
skadu’s teen die muur

jou klank die song in my oor
die anthem van my seisoen
jou stem fluweelsag
soos die gordyne op die stage
ons leer lankal nie meer woorde nie
die teks kom uit die hart

my beautiful stranger
vlerklose wonder
waar kom jy vandaan
the scarecrow chased my fears away
ek trade my plastiek glimlag
vir n honest happy traan

Hold your light
Hold your light
Hold your light where i can see it

LASTO BETH NIN

[Written by Elf – 04 February 2009]

Y ou appeared and cast a shadow
O ut of the darkness you came
U nannounced taking my hand into yours
R escuing me running away with me
E scaping to a world only we know of

M y compass in the darkest night
Y ou give direction you bring light

E mpowering me to soar above the woods
V ultures can hurt me no more
E ngraving my name in the palm of your hand
R estless souls running two become one
Y ou are the faith inside of me
T hrough every hour of each day
H onestly I can’t deny
I love you forever if I may
N othing will ever erase those words
G the only letter in my alphabet

*Lasto Beth Nin: Elvish for ‘Hear My Voice’

GYPSYCROW CHEMISTRY

[Written by Elf – 05 February 2009]

you’re my tourniquet
my nymphetamine boy
you somehow stop the bleeding
ease the pain
calm my fears
erase the stains

you secrete my tears and
set me free of that which holds me hostage
you declare it void
fill my veins
with your oxygen
my sweet breath of life

my lithium heart
exposed to your precious face
crimson turning white
as we drown our tears
forget the past
your nitrogen name engraved in my heart

* Lithium: When placed over a flame, lithium gives off a striking crimson colour, but when it burns strongly, the flame becomes a brilliant white. Lithium will ignite and burn when exposed to water and water vapours in oxygen. It is the only metal that reacts with nitrogen at room temperature.

OWNED

[Written by Elf - 06 February 2009]

this world
self-proclaimed perfection
yet they adore the beauty of their rainbows
with colour-blind eyes

this world
self-proclaimed perfection
yet they feed their hungry children
with photo-shopped printed media

this world
self-proclaimed perfection
yet they love and caress their people
with the hands of abuse

this world
self-proclaimed perfection
yet they inhale the sweet odour
of the flowers of corruption growing wild

this world
self-proclaimed perfection
yet they indulge in the taste
of currencies world wide

this world
un-proclaimed sinners’ haven
yet senselessly omitting one single letter
find (t)His world, find Heaven

DIE EGGO VAN ‘N SUG

[Written by Elf – 25 February 2009]

ek hoor my asem sug
terwyl ek die stofspoor van ‘n droom
van my hande afvee

vingers wat wens
hmm ..

droom
hoop
verlang

om die kontoere van jou gesig
soos braille te lees
die uitdrukking op jou gesig
vir ‘n wyle vas te hou

terwyl ek
siende blind
met my vingerpunte
die diepte van jou oë meet

terwyl ek
horende doof
die kreukels
van jou frons wegstreel

terwyl ek
stille runaway
dors na die trane
wat krake in jou wange vloei

terwyl ek
camera obscura
die buitelyne van jou gesig
drie-dimensioneel probeer inkleur

terwyl ek
terwyl ..

ek siende blind
horende doof
stille runaway
camera obscura

my pad na jou asem vind
die woorde soos blomme
van jou mond pluk
sonder dat jy hoef te sê

ek hoor my asem sug
terwyl ek die stofspoor van ‘n droom
terwyl ek
terwyl

vingers wat wens
‘n Ingrid Jonker doen
in die oseaan
waaraan my oë intussen geboorte gegee het

drome wat breek
soos branders teen rotse
van wat kon wees
ek (wens ek) hoor jou asem sug

LAMENT

[Written by Elf – 11 March 2009]

ek flos die kamers van my hart
met die einste hakiesdraad
wat nou die grens tussen ons span

soos ‘n pleister oor die snare van my donker viool
trek jy die woorde soos note een vir een
akoesties uit my siel

het jou menswees simfonies
vir my ‘n nuwe lewe gekomponeer
die fluweel-swart gordyn vir altyd gelig

die bladmusiek van jou karakter
bly my encore en maak jou die ster
wyl ek tien swart rose voor jou voete lê

‘n laaste wals op maat van jou refrein
voetspore bedek onder winter se wit kombers
bly jy kleurvol-ironies my ewigdurende lente

LITTLE STAR

[Written by Elf – 19 March 2009]

Little star shining bright
Against the soft black velvet sky
Little star bringing light
Lifting my dark soul up high

Little star catch my tears
They fall like rain from your skies
Little star drown my fears
Before my dark soul dies

WHEN MEMORY CALLS

[Written by Elf – 19 March 2009]

elevated into the depths of remembrance
i find myself behind bars
caged in by the thought of you

my memories of you
scattered like scrabble pieces on the floor
trying to make sense of the spaces in between

time becomes my new currency
as it slow dances with my soul
‘going forward in reverse’

my metronome
swaying back and forth
between my memories and my dreams

‘moments lost though time remains’
‘no more tears’
until – memory calls ..

TIRED

[Written by Elf – 22 March 2009]

running through the woods
out of breath
shapeless shadows
chasing one another
fugitives
trying to get away
escape in time
be free
i’m running
out of breath
looking over my shoulder
recognizing the face
trying to get away
escape in time
out of breath
be free
run
out of breath
get away
don’t turn around
go
looking over my shoulder
too tired
recognizing the face
i can’t anymore
keep on running
out of breath
running away
recognizing
i’m tired
running
away
from
me

MEMORIES

[Written by Elf – 27 March 2009]

M emories of you
E ase the pain inside
M akes me smile with tears in my eyes
O r becomes the fortress in which I hide
R emembering every dimension of you
I n my heart you will always be near
E mpty now the space beside me
S ecluded – I’ll always love you my dear

TIME

[Written by Elf – 28 March 2009]

time flows like a river
seasons change
as the neverending relay continues
between seconds and minutes and hours
and tomorrow becomes yesterday
far too soon

the time for life is now
even though we’re blind-folded
ignorant of what awaits around the next turn
maybe the best is yet to come
what if we close our eyes and walk
and dare to live just this once

don’t let the seasons catch you off-guard
never lose your game
take of the blind-fold
for time flows like a river
step into the water
and allow yourself to feel

(NOT WANTING) TO LET GO

[Written by Elf – 13 April 2009]

unlock my fingers one by one
I beg you teach me to let go
dearest beloved please loosen my grip
why you’re haunting me I do not know

tears swept away by the autumn wind
like your so-called love for me
you’re no longer here but your prisoner I remain
bound by your bewitching spell when will you set me free

add anger and hatred to that potion
make me like you a whole lot less
cure me from this venomous addiction
silence me before my love I confess

unlock my fingers one by one
I beg you teach me to let go
my heart is bleeding empty here
as it writes your name in the snow

dearest beloved please loosen your grip
you’re slowly suffocating me
forever your prisoner I remain
and yet I’m the one holding the key

A BLINDFOLDED WISH

[Written by Elf – 15 April 2009]

you’ve been gone for too long
yet even now the memory of you
is a placebo to cure the I in me

rhymeless and rythmless
your unspoken voice
pacifies the storms within

drowning voluntarily into your eyes
I want to descend at the speed of light
into the great below of whó you are

become the anchor kneeling
in the core of your soul
and thank Him

.. for I have finally arrived

WONDER

[Written by Elf - 07 May 2009]

met uitgestrekte arms wat my lankal nie meer verwelkom nie
staan jy in ‘n veld vol van gister se onthou
jou loodswaar kop geboë na die grond
steek die vlak gevoelens in jou diep-donker oë vir my weg

jy hou wag oor die kom en gaan van die seisoene
terwyl die herfsblare teen jou verlamde lyf vaswaai
en ek soekend op die grond na vergifnis tas
in die skadu van jou kruis-kloon-silhouette

jy stap sonder spore geanker op een plek
harteloos by my verby
ek kniel op die grond met ‘n hand vol strooi
en wonder was jy net so kléin bietjie lief vir my

VERGETE GYSELAAR

[Written by Elf – 10 May 2009]

jy hardloop sorgvry die toekoms in
my hart soos ‘n kite aan ‘n tou
bietjie lag en bietjie huil
ek wonder of jy my naam onthou?

leë beloftes en doodloopstrate
verklap die koördinate in ons verhaal
nou skryf ek simpel rympies
oor die wonder van ons verdwaal?

ek hardloop alleen die toekoms in
my hart eens ‘n kite aan ‘n tou
jou lag eggo teen my trane vas
het jy vergeet om vas te hou?

VERSLINT

[Written by Elf – 17 May 2009]

ek proe nog jou soet naam op my lippe
terwyl my spore net dieper en dieper sak
jou skaam glimlag wat soos veters deur my newels ryg
verdrink ek in die dryfsand van jou hart

ALBASTERS

[Written by Elf - 24 May 2009]

jy skiet al jou albasters
in die gatjie van my hart
klein glas-oog planete waarmee
jy my wêreld stukkend spat

jou woorde rol roekeloos oor die vloer
ek kniel en tel hul biddend op
huisves jou sinne in die palm van my hand
terwyl my hart by jou verby galop

stukkende albasters oral op die vloer
glasstukke maak wonde in die vlees
ek sit my hand bewend op die splinters neer
daar … waar jy moes wees

MY SILENT SUFFOCATION

[Written by Elf - 04 June 2009]

what a beautiful mourning
as my tears become one with the rain
safe in the arms of sorrow
my heart a wreath of pain

i dwell in unrequited love
every waking hour
beautiful stranger don’t you see
my soul was yours to devour

YOUR FORGOTTEN YESTERDAY

[Written by Elf - 19 June 2009]

winter has forgotten me outside your window
my numb fingers paralyzed by the cold
frozen palms held pleading towards you
the hands you’ve forgotten to hold